We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
