i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
