Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
