hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think I sprained my soul last night
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He better not be in your backpack
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize