Sry I called you an 8
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
