So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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