Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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