Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
God, I missed his penis.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
