what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
