Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
