i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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