it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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