from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize