Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
