i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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