Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
