So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
