I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
