You're my little dorito
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize