How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
