Me too!
I cannot find my penis.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
