..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
