she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She even gives head with a lisp.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
