We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
