my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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