You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
