I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize