I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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