please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize