we made out on top of his cat.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
