Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
