you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
