So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
