fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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