Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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