i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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