So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
