I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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