Will you blow on my dice?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
