And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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