I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
