She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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