I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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