Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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