please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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