Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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