You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
