We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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