She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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