like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
