I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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