do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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