NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
