Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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