She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
