dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
dude. I can hear the air.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
