he thought i was a dude.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
