I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
