just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
