somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
