New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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