i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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