thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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