oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
this boner is exhausting
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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