i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize