My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
