Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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