YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
