What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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