when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
