dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
