I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
