what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
