So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
