And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Randomize
